Ego Require Meus Potus Reus

(Black Books fanpage)

Hello, thought I'm not glad you made it here, which you did if you are here now. That is to say, if you weren't here you'd be somewhere else that isn't here if you're not here in the first place. Anyway, if you did get bored, you wouldn't still be here, in fact you wouldn't have come here at all because you'd be irritated at all the slowly-loading pages that are there to irritate you, because I like to do that (irritate customers).

This web thingy is in no way meant to encourage you to be a customer, even if you are a nice one who put up with all the customer-irritating pages, as there is nothing I hate more then customers who are encouraged by webpages like this.

Choose-your-own tax adventure

The quest of all quests...Take Bernard's life in your hands as you guide him to the ultimate prize of a Taxjacket! Your accountant has turned out to be a criminal, the bastard, and Fran blatantly refuses to do it for you, so armed with a glass of wine and a cigarette you sit down and take on your taxes. Follow the right road and your accounts will end up a rather smart casual jacket, but put a step wrong and your brain will explode all over the wall...
You begin to read your taxes, sure you can muddle along
You decide to join Fran at her yoga to increase your lax concentration

Beer Goggles

Anyway, pictures. Not pixies. Bloody horrible things, pixies. Yes. Celebrate. Just don't go nicking these, like the filthy little customers you are. They took me quite a while to compile. It was worse than doing my taxes.

Fanart

Click the thumbnail for the full image.

Screen Captures

By season and episode. I really don't care which one. They're all nice and good and seasoned. Click thumbnails for larger versions of the images. Don't click them and they'll stay small. Magical.

 

Season 1

“Cooking the books”

Tax avoidance and shouting.

"Manny's First Day"

In which a horribly nice bearded man falls under the yolk of bookshop servitude.

 “Grapes of wrath”

Drinking the pope’s wine.

 “The blackout”

Injuries and unwanted police work.

 “The big lock-out”

Bees are eaten.

 “He’s leaving home”

Beard photography.

Season 2

“The entertainer”

Instinctual spoon-based musicianship.

 “Fever”

A new use for a water bottle.

“The Fixer”

What even is a book?

 “Blood”

Family sucks.

 “Hello Sun”

*sips drink*

 “A nice change”

Holidays are invariably a bad idea.

Season 3

“Manny come home”

Muffin dispensers.

 

“Elephants and hens”

Writing for children is hard.

 “Moo-ma and moo-pa”

Manny’s parents are even worse than Manny.

 “A little flutter”

Legs are the first thing on the line.

 “Travel writer”

Smungnonimity.

“Party”

It is not a party.

Bernard Black's Top Five Reads

Always wondered what you should read? Well Bernard has posted a handy-dandy list of books you should buy and the bugger off home with. They'll expand your mind, he swears (in very colorful language too). These books should, in no instances, be eaten. Avoid contact with eyes and dogs, because dogs can be nasty buggers and they may want to eat your eyes.

shuttinh.jpg

much.jpg 

green.jpg  freud.jpg  booze.jpg

That's alll the content there is. Nothing more to see here.