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Chumblie Corn

Always on time, always in a Chumblie

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Is your current corn delivery slow? Does it lack a polite courier? Chumblie Corn™ is here to solve all of your corn delivery problems! Excellent, pesticide-free corn is grown from the very mind of the Celestial Toymaker, placed inside a hygienic and happy workforce of Chumblies and transported via TARDIS piloted by the renegade champion of goodness, the Doctor, to any time or place that has ever existed! You can’t afford not to take advantage of the unique service Chumblie Corn™ offers you.

The Doctor and The Celestial Toymaker are the core of this unique and fantastic company, pooling their talents to ensure top notch customer service at all times.

Read on for more information about Chumblie Corn™!

Testimonials

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"This excellent service sees to all of my possible corn needs." Broton (The Zygon)


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"Oi! Someone nicked all my Chumblies!" Ralph (The Rill)

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"I like the part where the Chumblie knocks on my door." (Sigmund Freud)

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"When you're as evil as I am, you need to know that your corn will always reach you. Chumblie Corn™ is a very handy service. Mwa ha ha." (The Master)

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"The Chumblies are considerate delivery persons who always put the corn first."(Some Corn)

FAQ

Q: A Chumblie will not fit through my front door. Will this be a problem?
A: No, as we now offer a choice of Chumblie sizes, including a mini-Chumblie for those who live in particularly small surroundings.

Q: I have a moral vendetta against Chumblies. Will this be a problem?
A: Yes.
Q: Bugger.
A: Indeed.

Q: How stable is the Doctor and the Celestial Toymaker's business partnership?
A: As long as the Toymaker doesn't find any board games, it is bound to continue for centuries.

Q: How much corn can you possibly produce? Will you ever run out?
A: Owing to the handy thought creation powers of the Toymaker, our stocks of corn will last as long as he can be bothered thinking of them.

Q: How can I be sure any corn I purchase won't simply disappear when the Toymaker gets distracted?
A: There is an elite team of five Chumblies who have been given extra training, who spent the entirety of their time poking him gently with sticks and reminding him about the concept of corn. This is a highly sustainable and enduring system that ensures our customer's purchases will be safe.

Company History

The historical MSN conversation that saw the formation of this business venture was miraculously found under a radiator in a basement on Telos. You can read the transcript below.

Since that conversation, a workforce of over five hundred Chumblies have been deployed in over twenty billion locations throughout the universe, and more than one hundred thousand million billion metric tonnes of corn has found its way to needy customers.

Employee Of The Month

Our hard working chumblies are transported to the very edges of space and time, and though each and every one of our valued corn couriers constantly displays excellence, each month we spotlight an individual who has shown brilliance in their field.

Franklin Chumblie
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Franklin Chumblie has shown excellent skills in corn handling, as well as a constantly polite and helpful customer relations technique. He has always avoided job hazards such as metallic nets, and being mistaken for a collection of upended soup bowls. For this reason we award Franklin the prestigious Employee Of The Month award, and his very own dolphin.
Congratulations Franklin!

 Order Form

Like this website, the form is psychically linguistically adaptable and can be read by almost any species in existence (except for the Menoptera. We're still working on translating their silly interpretive dance into a written format). Simply print it off, fill it out, and post it to

Chumblie Corn™,
Trippy Alternate Dimension
The Celestial Toymaker's Mind
Dubbo, 2605
 

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